"And even the Sundance Kid would find it hard to shoot his way out of this hole I'm in."
~Sam Roberts, Sundance
The reason I started this blog in the first place was to talk about things that were bugging me and try to sort things out on ink that I could not sort out in my head. Since I look at my life right now and feel as though everything is very twisted and foggy, now seems to be a good time to start writing again. One of the things that has really bothered me as of late was the subject of friends. Broad topic I know, but bear with me.
If you've ever been on my livejournal friends page, the top of it is inscribed with the phrase, "Friends shift with the sands of time." When I initially chose that for the title, I did not really know how its words rang true. Now sitting here in a park, two weeks into spring, surrounded by 5 inches of snow from a freak snowstorm, I've come to realize that things happen with friendships much like this snowstorm. One day you are fine with one another, then something happens and suddenly you are out in the field, cold and alone, with that friend no where to be found. A sudden "snowstorm" comes though and blows your friendship to smithereens.
It's odd really how quick things can change. Recently, I've had issues with a few friends, partially my fault at times but partially theirs as well. Both I considered really great friends (some may even use "best" here), they knew me, what I stood for, and even in some respects, what I aspire to become. In retrospect, I may have thought of them as great friends, but I think I was good at best, maybe even just a friend. You see, we would talk on the phone, text, hang out, the normal stuff right? Fast forward to now. You see, now, one will give me a hello on AIM every now and again, we'll do a bit of catching up and then just sit there. We did not used to do that, we could talk for hours about nothing at all, but that was also talking, as in vocally, which we never really do any more.
I'm sure dear reader, that you are sitting there saying "well people do get busy". I know that, you obviously know that, it is just a plain fact of life. Which is fine. But going from a friends scale of good friend to just above a paving stone, I think you will agree that that is not the normal drop because "we get busy". Like I said it could have been because I just put too much stock in our friendship to begin with, which is my mistake. Another reason for the sudden drop of friendship could be due to something I said/did. For instance, In one friendship I speak of, I can pinpoint a single day where things slid downhill. I will take credit for my mistakes, but I will not take responsibility for the total downfall of the friendship. I tried to make amends, which it looked like I did on a couple of occasions. I used to beat myself up thinking there was something else I could do. Something I could do to preserve this friendship but I no longer wonder because I realized I did my part. At some point, you have to realize that the friendship is truly gone, and just let it fade.
But, this story is not all depression and decay of ties. It is also a story of births and new beginnings, for as I see friends walking out of my life. I also see new friends walking in. Will I ever get back what I once had with my those old friends? Probably not. But will I most likely find something just as good because I harbor the mistakes and lessons from my past? Absolutely. Life rarely takes away what you cannot replace. While I will miss very much the two people I speak of (one I've known for many years), I also know that I have many friends and will make many more. So you see:
Sunrise Must Follow Sunset.
S.T.
[The soundtrack to this entry is as follows | Sam Roberts - Sundance | Trapt - Black Rose | Kevin Rudolf - Welcome to the World]
Monday, April 6, 2009
Monday, February 16, 2009
Make Face Time
So, Dentyne Ice is running this new ad campaign based around the slogan "Make Face Time" For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, here it is:
Now most people are taking their ads and making them more technological. The ads have more bells, more futuristic styling. Dentyne...now they seem to be going back to basics. I applaud them for this campaign and it made me think.
Our generation is one of cell phones and text messaging. Facebook and instant messaging. We are more connected to each other than ever, but at what cost? All the things I just mentioned are all technology related. When we can't see someone, we just hit them up through whatever medium we think is necessary. But what about face time? I'm sure we've all seen the movies where the group of rural teens are hanging out in the field just talking and joking around. Now that is face time. I'm not saying that we all have big open fields and talk about baseball the entire day. The concept still applies today.
Being in college, friends are spread out across the state/region/country, and I acknowledge that. This is where Facebook and IM and phones come into play. We can get a hold of and catch up with people even when we can't see them. We can go so far as to use webcams and mics, and get that pseudo-face time. While this is a good way to keep in touch, it is no replacement for face time. For instance, if they're only a few hours away, why are we seeing them only a few times a year? Without the physical interaction, memories cannot be made. Memories are very important, some say memories can save your life. Others, like Scottish Essayist Alexander Smith belive "memory is a man's real possession...In nothing else is he rich, in nothing else is he poor." You wont remember typing with that girl via IM, the dim glow of the screen illuminating the room. But, you will remember the time that you hung out for a day, and had fun. You'll remember the look in her eyes, and the feeling of the breeze, and the beating of the hot sun. This is where memories are made.
Seeing as how spring breaks are quickly approaching for everyone, I'd like to pose this to you: Instead of going away to some tropical hot spot, go back to your home surroundings. Call up all your friends, get them around.
And Make Face Time.
S.T.
Now most people are taking their ads and making them more technological. The ads have more bells, more futuristic styling. Dentyne...now they seem to be going back to basics. I applaud them for this campaign and it made me think.
Our generation is one of cell phones and text messaging. Facebook and instant messaging. We are more connected to each other than ever, but at what cost? All the things I just mentioned are all technology related. When we can't see someone, we just hit them up through whatever medium we think is necessary. But what about face time? I'm sure we've all seen the movies where the group of rural teens are hanging out in the field just talking and joking around. Now that is face time. I'm not saying that we all have big open fields and talk about baseball the entire day. The concept still applies today.
Being in college, friends are spread out across the state/region/country, and I acknowledge that. This is where Facebook and IM and phones come into play. We can get a hold of and catch up with people even when we can't see them. We can go so far as to use webcams and mics, and get that pseudo-face time. While this is a good way to keep in touch, it is no replacement for face time. For instance, if they're only a few hours away, why are we seeing them only a few times a year? Without the physical interaction, memories cannot be made. Memories are very important, some say memories can save your life. Others, like Scottish Essayist Alexander Smith belive "memory is a man's real possession...In nothing else is he rich, in nothing else is he poor." You wont remember typing with that girl via IM, the dim glow of the screen illuminating the room. But, you will remember the time that you hung out for a day, and had fun. You'll remember the look in her eyes, and the feeling of the breeze, and the beating of the hot sun. This is where memories are made.
Seeing as how spring breaks are quickly approaching for everyone, I'd like to pose this to you: Instead of going away to some tropical hot spot, go back to your home surroundings. Call up all your friends, get them around.
And Make Face Time.
S.T.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Give him your left cheek, after all, how else will you throw a right cross?
“But I tell you not to resist an evildoer. On the contrary, whoever slaps you on the right cheek, turn the other to him as well.”
~Matthew 5:39, the Bible [ISV]
Turn the other cheek. That’s simple enough, if someone offends you or does something against you, don’t get mad. Instead offer them your other cheek or in other words. Just let it go. Now, I don’t see anything wrong with this. If someone says an unkind word, don’t sweat it, brush it off and move on. Chances are they are just jealous over you or mad at themselves and have to take it out on someone else. ‘Don’t sweat the small stuff’, as they’d say. How about the big stuff? What do you do when someone hurts you deeply, either physically, or mentally? If you were to follow Jesus’ example then you would do nothing. In fact, you would offer up yourself again. A great figure in American history would tend to agree with this holy man. Abraham Lincoln, in a Washington D.C. address said, “I have always found that mercy bears richer fruits than strict justice.”
Strict justice…Justice without the weight of consequence and circumstance. Upon first glance this may seem like the perfect answer. No matter who you are, no matter what happened, if you did ‘A’ then ‘B’ is going to be your punishment. Further inspection says that this black and white approach would be faulty. Take our court system; if you kill a man, then you are going to jail. Ah, wait, unless it was in self-defense. If you kill someone because the alternative is he would kill you, you are justified in your actions. Let’s take this a step further.
Mary is walking home from work one day, which is about 5 blocks away from her apartment. As she walks, she notices a man behind her, seemingly keeping pace with her, neither getting closer nor trailing farther behind. 2 blocks into her journey he makes his move. As they pass a dark alley, he grabs Mary, throws her onto an old mattress in the alley and begins to rip off her clothes. She pleas with him to stop, but it looks like she is going to be one more statistic for rape. Only Mary has a gun, a concealed weapon that she keeps in her purse that is lying beside her. Using all her strength, she pushes the man, knocking him back momentarily. She scrambles for her gun, he gets up and runs toward her just as. Bam. The man drops to the ground, blood oozing from his chest; he has been hit square in the heart. Its over, she killed him in self-defense. No charges. His family has a funeral. But what if she hadn’t had the gun?
If she hadn’t had the gun she would be traumatized and her assailant would be put on trial where he would be either let free to rape again, (yes, this is a proven trait that rapists are almost always serial), or he would get up to 10 years in jail. Mary’s life may never be the same. Now this is turning the other cheek. Not only has he ruined her life, but he may be walking around on the streets free to do this again. In this case it is important to follow Confucius’ advice and “recompense injury with justice, and recompense kindness with kindness.” Death may be hard on a rapist, but injustice is being committed when he is out of jail in 10 years or more likely 7 for “good” behavior.
I realize the aforementioned example is slightly extreme, but this is what we deal with. People who say ‘turn the other cheek’ cannot be thinking clearly. In various cases, the worst thing imaginable would be to do that. There are circumstances when action needs to be taken against the individuals, be they shoplifters, rapists, murderers or just bullies. To conclude this entry, I would like to quote from one of my personal favorite movies of all time. Called The Order, it stars the late Heath Ledger as Alex, a man who though a series of events becomes the absolver of sins, a way into heaven without going through the church. At the end of the movie, Alex is all alone, having just received these absolving powers, He utters these final lines.
“And now it is I. I have been blessed and cursed... for now I possess the keys to the kingdom of heaven. I will forgive those who deserve freedom. I will damn those who have damned themselves.”
S.T.
~Matthew 5:39, the Bible [ISV]
Turn the other cheek. That’s simple enough, if someone offends you or does something against you, don’t get mad. Instead offer them your other cheek or in other words. Just let it go. Now, I don’t see anything wrong with this. If someone says an unkind word, don’t sweat it, brush it off and move on. Chances are they are just jealous over you or mad at themselves and have to take it out on someone else. ‘Don’t sweat the small stuff’, as they’d say. How about the big stuff? What do you do when someone hurts you deeply, either physically, or mentally? If you were to follow Jesus’ example then you would do nothing. In fact, you would offer up yourself again. A great figure in American history would tend to agree with this holy man. Abraham Lincoln, in a Washington D.C. address said, “I have always found that mercy bears richer fruits than strict justice.”
Strict justice…Justice without the weight of consequence and circumstance. Upon first glance this may seem like the perfect answer. No matter who you are, no matter what happened, if you did ‘A’ then ‘B’ is going to be your punishment. Further inspection says that this black and white approach would be faulty. Take our court system; if you kill a man, then you are going to jail. Ah, wait, unless it was in self-defense. If you kill someone because the alternative is he would kill you, you are justified in your actions. Let’s take this a step further.
Mary is walking home from work one day, which is about 5 blocks away from her apartment. As she walks, she notices a man behind her, seemingly keeping pace with her, neither getting closer nor trailing farther behind. 2 blocks into her journey he makes his move. As they pass a dark alley, he grabs Mary, throws her onto an old mattress in the alley and begins to rip off her clothes. She pleas with him to stop, but it looks like she is going to be one more statistic for rape. Only Mary has a gun, a concealed weapon that she keeps in her purse that is lying beside her. Using all her strength, she pushes the man, knocking him back momentarily. She scrambles for her gun, he gets up and runs toward her just as. Bam. The man drops to the ground, blood oozing from his chest; he has been hit square in the heart. Its over, she killed him in self-defense. No charges. His family has a funeral. But what if she hadn’t had the gun?
If she hadn’t had the gun she would be traumatized and her assailant would be put on trial where he would be either let free to rape again, (yes, this is a proven trait that rapists are almost always serial), or he would get up to 10 years in jail. Mary’s life may never be the same. Now this is turning the other cheek. Not only has he ruined her life, but he may be walking around on the streets free to do this again. In this case it is important to follow Confucius’ advice and “recompense injury with justice, and recompense kindness with kindness.” Death may be hard on a rapist, but injustice is being committed when he is out of jail in 10 years or more likely 7 for “good” behavior.
I realize the aforementioned example is slightly extreme, but this is what we deal with. People who say ‘turn the other cheek’ cannot be thinking clearly. In various cases, the worst thing imaginable would be to do that. There are circumstances when action needs to be taken against the individuals, be they shoplifters, rapists, murderers or just bullies. To conclude this entry, I would like to quote from one of my personal favorite movies of all time. Called The Order, it stars the late Heath Ledger as Alex, a man who though a series of events becomes the absolver of sins, a way into heaven without going through the church. At the end of the movie, Alex is all alone, having just received these absolving powers, He utters these final lines.
“And now it is I. I have been blessed and cursed... for now I possess the keys to the kingdom of heaven. I will forgive those who deserve freedom. I will damn those who have damned themselves.”
S.T.
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