“But I tell you not to resist an evildoer. On the contrary, whoever slaps you on the right cheek, turn the other to him as well.”
~Matthew 5:39, the Bible [ISV]
Turn the other cheek. That’s simple enough, if someone offends you or does something against you, don’t get mad. Instead offer them your other cheek or in other words. Just let it go. Now, I don’t see anything wrong with this. If someone says an unkind word, don’t sweat it, brush it off and move on. Chances are they are just jealous over you or mad at themselves and have to take it out on someone else. ‘Don’t sweat the small stuff’, as they’d say. How about the big stuff? What do you do when someone hurts you deeply, either physically, or mentally? If you were to follow Jesus’ example then you would do nothing. In fact, you would offer up yourself again. A great figure in American history would tend to agree with this holy man. Abraham Lincoln, in a Washington D.C. address said, “I have always found that mercy bears richer fruits than strict justice.”
Strict justice…Justice without the weight of consequence and circumstance. Upon first glance this may seem like the perfect answer. No matter who you are, no matter what happened, if you did ‘A’ then ‘B’ is going to be your punishment. Further inspection says that this black and white approach would be faulty. Take our court system; if you kill a man, then you are going to jail. Ah, wait, unless it was in self-defense. If you kill someone because the alternative is he would kill you, you are justified in your actions. Let’s take this a step further.
Mary is walking home from work one day, which is about 5 blocks away from her apartment. As she walks, she notices a man behind her, seemingly keeping pace with her, neither getting closer nor trailing farther behind. 2 blocks into her journey he makes his move. As they pass a dark alley, he grabs Mary, throws her onto an old mattress in the alley and begins to rip off her clothes. She pleas with him to stop, but it looks like she is going to be one more statistic for rape. Only Mary has a gun, a concealed weapon that she keeps in her purse that is lying beside her. Using all her strength, she pushes the man, knocking him back momentarily. She scrambles for her gun, he gets up and runs toward her just as. Bam. The man drops to the ground, blood oozing from his chest; he has been hit square in the heart. Its over, she killed him in self-defense. No charges. His family has a funeral. But what if she hadn’t had the gun?
If she hadn’t had the gun she would be traumatized and her assailant would be put on trial where he would be either let free to rape again, (yes, this is a proven trait that rapists are almost always serial), or he would get up to 10 years in jail. Mary’s life may never be the same. Now this is turning the other cheek. Not only has he ruined her life, but he may be walking around on the streets free to do this again. In this case it is important to follow Confucius’ advice and “recompense injury with justice, and recompense kindness with kindness.” Death may be hard on a rapist, but injustice is being committed when he is out of jail in 10 years or more likely 7 for “good” behavior.
I realize the aforementioned example is slightly extreme, but this is what we deal with. People who say ‘turn the other cheek’ cannot be thinking clearly. In various cases, the worst thing imaginable would be to do that. There are circumstances when action needs to be taken against the individuals, be they shoplifters, rapists, murderers or just bullies. To conclude this entry, I would like to quote from one of my personal favorite movies of all time. Called The Order, it stars the late Heath Ledger as Alex, a man who though a series of events becomes the absolver of sins, a way into heaven without going through the church. At the end of the movie, Alex is all alone, having just received these absolving powers, He utters these final lines.
“And now it is I. I have been blessed and cursed... for now I possess the keys to the kingdom of heaven. I will forgive those who deserve freedom. I will damn those who have damned themselves.”
S.T.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Thursday, October 23, 2008
And I'll Take This Bullet In Hopes You May Prosper...
"Spock: The needs of the many... outweigh -
Kirk: The needs of the few.
Spock: Or the one. "
~Star Trek, The Wrath of Kahn
My father was a Star Trek junkie back in the day, and growing up we would watch the classic shows such as Star Trek and M.A.S.H. so it seems only fitting that one day I would be using a quote from the series. This quote is often shortened in this day and age to "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the one". But I believe the few is important. If we look at these statements in essence it turns into a "put others first" scenario. But what happens when its one on one. Does the needs of your relative/friend/lover outweigh the needs of yourself. I'd like to think so.
"Self-Sacrifice is the real miracle out of which all the reported miracles grow."
~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Self-sacrifice. Sacrifice sounds like a harsh word, it conjures images of cults and virgins and the ultimate payment. This isn't self-sacrifice however. At least...not exactly. According to MWOD, self sacrifice is the sacrifice of oneself or one's interest for others or cause or ideal. That is some heavy thinking, giving up something in exchange for someones ability to prosper. It may not be your life that is the loss, but if you are self-sacrificing, chances are its something fairly substantial. Let's take an example. Dean and Eddie are best friends, they got each others back. Dean is friends with Julie. Dean likes Julie. Eddie starts meeting with Dean and Julie. Eddie finds himself starting to like Julie. Oh, but wait, so does Dean. One of two things can happen here. One, Eddie can go on the offensive and in essence fight against Dean for Julie's affection. His second option, and frankly, much less appealing, is he can suppress his feelings and force them to disappear. As hard as it is having one good friend like you, two would be killer. The real priority is the well-being of his friends. With him in the mix it only makes things harder. Eddie decides option two is best.
So in review, If he sacrifices here, he is effectively:
~Sacrificing his emotions
~Sacrificing a part of his mental well-being
~Sacrificing a potential relationship
Reading that, I'm pretty sure Eddie has more dedication to friends than this writer will ever have. But I also know that he has a very hard road ahead of him, and wish him the best of luck.
Because You'll Need It To Stay Alive.
S.T.
Kirk: The needs of the few.
Spock: Or the one. "
~Star Trek, The Wrath of Kahn
My father was a Star Trek junkie back in the day, and growing up we would watch the classic shows such as Star Trek and M.A.S.H. so it seems only fitting that one day I would be using a quote from the series. This quote is often shortened in this day and age to "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the one". But I believe the few is important. If we look at these statements in essence it turns into a "put others first" scenario. But what happens when its one on one. Does the needs of your relative/friend/lover outweigh the needs of yourself. I'd like to think so.
"Self-Sacrifice is the real miracle out of which all the reported miracles grow."
~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Self-sacrifice. Sacrifice sounds like a harsh word, it conjures images of cults and virgins and the ultimate payment. This isn't self-sacrifice however. At least...not exactly. According to MWOD, self sacrifice is the sacrifice of oneself or one's interest for others or cause or ideal. That is some heavy thinking, giving up something in exchange for someones ability to prosper. It may not be your life that is the loss, but if you are self-sacrificing, chances are its something fairly substantial. Let's take an example. Dean and Eddie are best friends, they got each others back. Dean is friends with Julie. Dean likes Julie. Eddie starts meeting with Dean and Julie. Eddie finds himself starting to like Julie. Oh, but wait, so does Dean. One of two things can happen here. One, Eddie can go on the offensive and in essence fight against Dean for Julie's affection. His second option, and frankly, much less appealing, is he can suppress his feelings and force them to disappear. As hard as it is having one good friend like you, two would be killer. The real priority is the well-being of his friends. With him in the mix it only makes things harder. Eddie decides option two is best.
So in review, If he sacrifices here, he is effectively:
~Sacrificing his emotions
~Sacrificing a part of his mental well-being
~Sacrificing a potential relationship
Reading that, I'm pretty sure Eddie has more dedication to friends than this writer will ever have. But I also know that he has a very hard road ahead of him, and wish him the best of luck.
Because You'll Need It To Stay Alive.
S.T.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Friends Shift With the Sands of Time
"Someone That You Trust Is Just, Another Way To Die"
~Another Way To Die by Jack White and Alicia Keys
People have said that music is life and I believe it. Music not only can tell a story, but it can also teach you about this world we call ours. Our lives are made of relationships. Be they work, love, or friendship, we intertwine and connect with various people to create a delicate web. Friendships are the most delicate. People start as strangers, become acquaintances, then best friends. Sometimes life doesn't work like that, sometimes our friendships fail. It can be due to something one party said, or perhaps what they did. Either way, someone will get hurt. Maybe its an unintentional attack on their feelings or their pride. Most friendships get over this, and although they may never be to the way things once were, they will still be friends to a capacity. Oh, but then...then there are the special cases of trusting a friend, only to have them come out of their shell when something goes amiss. They turn so fast, and so hard on you, that before you know it they are now your sworn enemy. Perhaps the shift is more subtle and you just drift apart. They still seem harmless tho right? But sometimes you don't know why, and then sometimes you find out that they really were not who they were in the first place, and apparently you were backing the wrong pony the whole time.
Will you stand and right the wrong?
S.T.
~Another Way To Die by Jack White and Alicia Keys
People have said that music is life and I believe it. Music not only can tell a story, but it can also teach you about this world we call ours. Our lives are made of relationships. Be they work, love, or friendship, we intertwine and connect with various people to create a delicate web. Friendships are the most delicate. People start as strangers, become acquaintances, then best friends. Sometimes life doesn't work like that, sometimes our friendships fail. It can be due to something one party said, or perhaps what they did. Either way, someone will get hurt. Maybe its an unintentional attack on their feelings or their pride. Most friendships get over this, and although they may never be to the way things once were, they will still be friends to a capacity. Oh, but then...then there are the special cases of trusting a friend, only to have them come out of their shell when something goes amiss. They turn so fast, and so hard on you, that before you know it they are now your sworn enemy. Perhaps the shift is more subtle and you just drift apart. They still seem harmless tho right? But sometimes you don't know why, and then sometimes you find out that they really were not who they were in the first place, and apparently you were backing the wrong pony the whole time.
Will you stand and right the wrong?
S.T.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Tonight We Are All Red And White, Not Blue.
" This is the year (Montreal) makes the next step. (Detroit) keeps getting better with age. (The Red Wings) don't look like anybody will stop them... again. "
~Pittsburgh Tribune-Review
Yes ladies and gentlemen, the dawn of a new season is now. Tonight, Pittsburgh, Detroit, Montreal, and twenty-seven other teams begin their chase for the holy grail of the National Hockey League, Lord Stanley's Cup. While thirty teams are trying to get it, only one already has it. The Detroit Red Wings are the defending Stanley Cup Champions. And as such, "Hockeytown" (as Detroit is so called) is buzzing over their beloved team. Along with the special raising of the banner ceremony prior to tonight's game, Detroit will also have the presence of Def Leppard as they kick of the '08-'09 NHL season with Face-Off Rocks at the Fox Theatre near the Red Wings home, Joe Louis Arena. People all around the city are donning their Red Wings Merch. As the game slowly approached, eight hours, then four, then two, there became a buzz in the air. Sitting on facebook, there was one status, then another, and then like a bag of popcorn, everyone having a status with some form of cheering for the Wings.
Parties forming, Bars having specials to bring people in, people everywhere getting together.
It's funny how in the midst of everything going on, something as trivial as a sport can rally people together and create unity. Just a day earlier, facebook was populated with politically charged status in support of Obama or McCain. Many were support messages, while some were vulgar and perverse attacks against their political opponent of choice. If it wasn't politics creating a schism, it was the economy. Its plummeting...quickly, and many people are suffering. Some are saying bail out, other want to know how that could possibly help. The undertones of a foreign war of questionable intent seems into conversation every now and again. But none of this matters. With the skates on the ice and Def Leppard rocking across the street I can safely say that we are not Democrats, or Republicans. Peacemakers or Warmongers. For tonight,
We Are Hockeytown.
S.T.
~Pittsburgh Tribune-Review
Yes ladies and gentlemen, the dawn of a new season is now. Tonight, Pittsburgh, Detroit, Montreal, and twenty-seven other teams begin their chase for the holy grail of the National Hockey League, Lord Stanley's Cup. While thirty teams are trying to get it, only one already has it. The Detroit Red Wings are the defending Stanley Cup Champions. And as such, "Hockeytown" (as Detroit is so called) is buzzing over their beloved team. Along with the special raising of the banner ceremony prior to tonight's game, Detroit will also have the presence of Def Leppard as they kick of the '08-'09 NHL season with Face-Off Rocks at the Fox Theatre near the Red Wings home, Joe Louis Arena. People all around the city are donning their Red Wings Merch. As the game slowly approached, eight hours, then four, then two, there became a buzz in the air. Sitting on facebook, there was one status, then another, and then like a bag of popcorn, everyone having a status with some form of cheering for the Wings.
Parties forming, Bars having specials to bring people in, people everywhere getting together.
It's funny how in the midst of everything going on, something as trivial as a sport can rally people together and create unity. Just a day earlier, facebook was populated with politically charged status in support of Obama or McCain. Many were support messages, while some were vulgar and perverse attacks against their political opponent of choice. If it wasn't politics creating a schism, it was the economy. Its plummeting...quickly, and many people are suffering. Some are saying bail out, other want to know how that could possibly help. The undertones of a foreign war of questionable intent seems into conversation every now and again. But none of this matters. With the skates on the ice and Def Leppard rocking across the street I can safely say that we are not Democrats, or Republicans. Peacemakers or Warmongers. For tonight,
We Are Hockeytown.
S.T.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Talking isnt Speaking
First off, those of you who are wondering where "Attraction: The End" comes in, well...this is it. sort of. At the end of the last real entry, I said to go talk to her. Now really after that then your on your own. I did think that it was important to explain what "talking" encompassed. I didn't want to talk specifically regarding attraction, because honestly, there's books for that kind of thing. [Magic Bullets by Mystery, but you didn't hear that from me] I wanted to branch out and try to give a brief understanding of talking.
A recent study shows that while we are "talking", 55% of communication is through our body language, 38% in voice tone/inflections, and only 7% is from the actual words we are speaking.
Seven percent of talking is what we are actually saying. In comparison, Fifty-five percent is through body language. This is everything from your stance, to how you shake someones hand. Think of the most popular person you know, then ask yourself why he or she is so popular. Chances are your answer was something to the effect of "he just seems so sure of himself/herself". Okay, but why? Let's go out to the bar to find out!
Look at Joe Hollywood over there having people flocking to him. How do they know he's confident? Just look at him standing there, his thumb hooked into a belt loop on his jeans. When someone comes up he looks them in the eye and gives them a firm, hearty handshake. He has that low, smooth voice that is warm yet firm at the same time. When he tells someone something, he tells them once, and only once. All these things that I just pointed out, Joe has no idea that he is doing them. He's just confident, and knows what he wants, therefore his body acts out his feelings accordingly.
How about Freddy Quick over by the pool tables, leaning up against the wall? He's up to no good, probably a pool hustler. What? How do I know? Well lets look at him. Leaning on the wall, arms folded over each other in front of his chest. He isn't looking anywhere or at anyone, that floor he's staring at must be very fascinating. Oh, wait, he just shot a sideways glance at the new guy walking up to the table. Now watch when pretty boy there asks him for a game. Just like I thought, a very quiet hello without making eye contact. I almost feel bad for whats going to happen next, Freddy's gonna take his money like candy from a baby. I knew he looked suspicious.
See that girl over there, name's Michelle. She's gotta be pretty boys girlfriend cause, well, just look at the way shes biting her nails and working on her cuticles, she knows about Freddy. She can just see him about to take her guys money, unfortunately pretty boy wont listen to anyone.Ha, its kind of interesting to see her sitting like a stone statue. Really, as much as shes petrified at the thought of whats about to happen, she'll also be the first one to jump all over him in anger for being such a blind idiot. And there goes the game. Oh yeah, shes getting pissed off, on the edge of her seat, running her fingers through her hair. If pretty boy was smart he'd just run now. Too late, shes already up with her hands on her hips, foot tapping the floor.
Without hearing a word, we can read the conversations.
S.T.
A recent study shows that while we are "talking", 55% of communication is through our body language, 38% in voice tone/inflections, and only 7% is from the actual words we are speaking.
Seven percent of talking is what we are actually saying. In comparison, Fifty-five percent is through body language. This is everything from your stance, to how you shake someones hand. Think of the most popular person you know, then ask yourself why he or she is so popular. Chances are your answer was something to the effect of "he just seems so sure of himself/herself". Okay, but why? Let's go out to the bar to find out!
Look at Joe Hollywood over there having people flocking to him. How do they know he's confident? Just look at him standing there, his thumb hooked into a belt loop on his jeans. When someone comes up he looks them in the eye and gives them a firm, hearty handshake. He has that low, smooth voice that is warm yet firm at the same time. When he tells someone something, he tells them once, and only once. All these things that I just pointed out, Joe has no idea that he is doing them. He's just confident, and knows what he wants, therefore his body acts out his feelings accordingly.
How about Freddy Quick over by the pool tables, leaning up against the wall? He's up to no good, probably a pool hustler. What? How do I know? Well lets look at him. Leaning on the wall, arms folded over each other in front of his chest. He isn't looking anywhere or at anyone, that floor he's staring at must be very fascinating. Oh, wait, he just shot a sideways glance at the new guy walking up to the table. Now watch when pretty boy there asks him for a game. Just like I thought, a very quiet hello without making eye contact. I almost feel bad for whats going to happen next, Freddy's gonna take his money like candy from a baby. I knew he looked suspicious.
See that girl over there, name's Michelle. She's gotta be pretty boys girlfriend cause, well, just look at the way shes biting her nails and working on her cuticles, she knows about Freddy. She can just see him about to take her guys money, unfortunately pretty boy wont listen to anyone.Ha, its kind of interesting to see her sitting like a stone statue. Really, as much as shes petrified at the thought of whats about to happen, she'll also be the first one to jump all over him in anger for being such a blind idiot. And there goes the game. Oh yeah, shes getting pissed off, on the edge of her seat, running her fingers through her hair. If pretty boy was smart he'd just run now. Too late, shes already up with her hands on her hips, foot tapping the floor.
Without hearing a word, we can read the conversations.
S.T.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Hey all you people
Hey readers,
No, I didn't drop off the face of the earth, school has just kicked into high gear, along with work, and I seem to have neglected this blog, and in turn, all of you.
I have been working on some themes and posts, so ill try to update in the next day or so with Attraction: Part Three. In the mean time, I leave you with the quote from "Scrubs" a comedy about a group of doctors/residents/interns at Sacred Heart Hospital. This one is from the resident master of sarcasm,Dr. Cox, in one of his rare true moments.
Relationships don’t work the way they do on television and in the movies.
Will they, won’t they, and then they finally do and they’re happy forever, gimme a break.
9 out of 10 of ‘em end because they weren’t right for each other to begin with, and half the ones that get married get divorced anyway, and I’m tellin’ you right now, through all this stuff, I have not become a cynic, I haven’t.
Yes, I do happen to believe that love is mainly about pushing chocolate-covered candies and, y’know, in some cultures a chicken…
you can call me a sucker, I don’t care. ‘Cause I do.
Believe in it.
Bottom line, couples that are truly right for each other wade through the same crap as everybody else, but the big difference is, they don’t let it take them down.
One of those two people will stand up and fight for that relationship every time,
if it’s right and they’re real lucky, One of ‘em will say something.
No, I didn't drop off the face of the earth, school has just kicked into high gear, along with work, and I seem to have neglected this blog, and in turn, all of you.
I have been working on some themes and posts, so ill try to update in the next day or so with Attraction: Part Three. In the mean time, I leave you with the quote from "Scrubs" a comedy about a group of doctors/residents/interns at Sacred Heart Hospital. This one is from the resident master of sarcasm,Dr. Cox, in one of his rare true moments.
Relationships don’t work the way they do on television and in the movies.
Will they, won’t they, and then they finally do and they’re happy forever, gimme a break.
9 out of 10 of ‘em end because they weren’t right for each other to begin with, and half the ones that get married get divorced anyway, and I’m tellin’ you right now, through all this stuff, I have not become a cynic, I haven’t.
Yes, I do happen to believe that love is mainly about pushing chocolate-covered candies and, y’know, in some cultures a chicken…
you can call me a sucker, I don’t care. ‘Cause I do.
Believe in it.
Bottom line, couples that are truly right for each other wade through the same crap as everybody else, but the big difference is, they don’t let it take them down.
One of those two people will stand up and fight for that relationship every time,
if it’s right and they’re real lucky, One of ‘em will say something.
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Attraction: The Middle...Maybe.
Last time I wrote, I gave you some homework. A very simple thing, the next time you went to talk to a girl I wanted you to ask yourself why you want to talk to her. Did you stop and think? Let me guess, you weren’t quite sure why you wanted to talk to her, but you just knew you did. That’s quite normal as attraction is based on observation. I’m not saying that pure physical shape has nothing to do with it, it does make up a part of this but this won’t be my focus of this discussion, perhaps at a later date. Did you happen to note clothing, hairstyle, etc? Now that’s what I’m talking about, not the physical itself but the cues taken from the physical.
Every guy has a certain “type” of girl they go for. That’s not sexist, stereotypical or anything else. It’s just the truth. We develop this type over the length of our lives. Generally, by the time we get out of high school we have a decent idea of what we’re looking for. We have a certain set of personality traits that we find appeasing. Some people want that shy, quiet girl who’s got the book smarts and enjoys nights in. Others want the wild party girl, who’s always the life of the party and wants to be out on the town when at all possible. Some go for the “princess” while some prefer the “tomboy”. It doesn’t really matter what your “type” is, subtle clues are given off by everyone you approach.
So let’s talk clothes. I know, a guy talking about clothes? Trust me though, this is important. When you look at a girl, what is something they all have? No, not purses, clothes…and if she doesn’t, then let me be the first to say congratulations on getting those mind powers to finally work. In all seriousness, clothes say a lot about the girl you’re eyeing. Her style of dress usually gives you a general “type” of girl. (It’s important for me to note that yes, some don’t “dress the part” but as a general rule, this works well.) If you see she’s conservatively dressed then you may steer away from her if you’re looking for a wild child. If she leaves little to the imagination via clothing, then you may stay away if you’re looking for a shy, quiet, homemaker type girl. Those type of clues let us do a quick sort of who we want to spend our time with. So now that we have this shorter list, there’s only one thing to do.
Go talk to them!
S.T.
Every guy has a certain “type” of girl they go for. That’s not sexist, stereotypical or anything else. It’s just the truth. We develop this type over the length of our lives. Generally, by the time we get out of high school we have a decent idea of what we’re looking for. We have a certain set of personality traits that we find appeasing. Some people want that shy, quiet girl who’s got the book smarts and enjoys nights in. Others want the wild party girl, who’s always the life of the party and wants to be out on the town when at all possible. Some go for the “princess” while some prefer the “tomboy”. It doesn’t really matter what your “type” is, subtle clues are given off by everyone you approach.
So let’s talk clothes. I know, a guy talking about clothes? Trust me though, this is important. When you look at a girl, what is something they all have? No, not purses, clothes…and if she doesn’t, then let me be the first to say congratulations on getting those mind powers to finally work. In all seriousness, clothes say a lot about the girl you’re eyeing. Her style of dress usually gives you a general “type” of girl. (It’s important for me to note that yes, some don’t “dress the part” but as a general rule, this works well.) If you see she’s conservatively dressed then you may steer away from her if you’re looking for a wild child. If she leaves little to the imagination via clothing, then you may stay away if you’re looking for a shy, quiet, homemaker type girl. Those type of clues let us do a quick sort of who we want to spend our time with. So now that we have this shorter list, there’s only one thing to do.
Go talk to them!
S.T.
Friday, September 5, 2008
Attraction: The Beginning
At first this was going to be "Love vs Lust" until i realized neither of these emotions were true for the situation. You see, classes started a few weeks ago, and there is a girl who is in all of them with me. Call it chance, call it fate, call it destiny, call it whatever. Point is, I saw her and immediately decided I needed to get to know her better. I approached, talked and we now talk pretty much every day. But I was sitting here one night wondering why i first went to her. My initial reaction was lust. I mean there's that saying "Lust, not Love, at first sight". Then it hit me, it wasn't lust, i wanted to get to know her, she seemed like an interesting individual. So if not lust then love right? No, not love, because I didn't want to marry her, I hardly knew her. So then what was it...It was "like".
Now before I start getting complaints that "like" doesn't exist, let me elaborate. First off, you can love someone just as well as you can LIKE someone. Some people use like and love interchangeably here, but I don't think that's right. What are you really saying when you say "I like you"? You're telling the person that for some reason or another you like them, that you are ATTRACTED to them. True attraction isn't based solely on the physical, but on what the physical means to you. Next time you look at a girl, and think of talking to them, assess yourself quickly and explore WHY you want to talk to them
And let me know what you find out!
S.T.
Now before I start getting complaints that "like" doesn't exist, let me elaborate. First off, you can love someone just as well as you can LIKE someone. Some people use like and love interchangeably here, but I don't think that's right. What are you really saying when you say "I like you"? You're telling the person that for some reason or another you like them, that you are ATTRACTED to them. True attraction isn't based solely on the physical, but on what the physical means to you. Next time you look at a girl, and think of talking to them, assess yourself quickly and explore WHY you want to talk to them
And let me know what you find out!
S.T.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Pandora's Honesty Box
The Honesty Box. I'm sure everyone has ran into these. Popularized on facebook, it's just like it sounds, it is a box that you can type a comment to the owner without your name being logged. Therefore, you can say what you want/feel without having repercussions come to you. Wait. Stop. Honesty: fairness and straightforwardness of conduct. That definition is ripped straight out of M-WOD. Now...if honesty is straightforwardness...then why are we being anonymous? Isn't that the opposite of being straightforward? Yes, we are telling the person what we think, we tell them something that may help them, but we aren't being straightforward. We're hiding behind this cloud of anonymity.
Now, before you stop reading and thinking that I'm saying you should say everything honestly and to their face, let me stress that this IS NOT what I'm about. Because as American humorist Don Marquis once quipped, "Honesty is a good thing, but it is not profitable to its possessor unless it is kept under control." Let's face it, somethings are just plain left unsaid! If your typing 'noone likes you and you're selfish and arrogant' into the honesty box, stop and think. How is that in any way, shape, or form helping the person who will be receiving it? It won't. Plain and simple. You are not actually being honest, you are being scathing to that person. Maybe it is true, the whole nine yards, but is it going to actually accomplish anything? No. That person is going to look in that box, and do one of a few things. If they are as arrogant as they seem, they will laugh it off. If they still have a soul, then maybe they will become disheartened for a moment, but then go back to their ways. The third, and most likely option is they will get suspicious and start hating who they THINK wrote it. May not be who wrote it, but they will get the blame anyways. As far as I can see, nothing positive has came out of this scenario and this type "honesty" is just plain detrimental to the social structure. If you really do have this horrible issue with a person, it should be said in person, and worked out. The "Honesty Box" should be the last thing used.
So, is honesty really always the best policy?
S.T.
Now, before you stop reading and thinking that I'm saying you should say everything honestly and to their face, let me stress that this IS NOT what I'm about. Because as American humorist Don Marquis once quipped, "Honesty is a good thing, but it is not profitable to its possessor unless it is kept under control." Let's face it, somethings are just plain left unsaid! If your typing 'noone likes you and you're selfish and arrogant' into the honesty box, stop and think. How is that in any way, shape, or form helping the person who will be receiving it? It won't. Plain and simple. You are not actually being honest, you are being scathing to that person. Maybe it is true, the whole nine yards, but is it going to actually accomplish anything? No. That person is going to look in that box, and do one of a few things. If they are as arrogant as they seem, they will laugh it off. If they still have a soul, then maybe they will become disheartened for a moment, but then go back to their ways. The third, and most likely option is they will get suspicious and start hating who they THINK wrote it. May not be who wrote it, but they will get the blame anyways. As far as I can see, nothing positive has came out of this scenario and this type "honesty" is just plain detrimental to the social structure. If you really do have this horrible issue with a person, it should be said in person, and worked out. The "Honesty Box" should be the last thing used.
So, is honesty really always the best policy?
S.T.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Being Civil? Yeah...I don't think so
"Be civil to all; sociable to many; familiar with few; friend to one; enemy to none."
~Benjamin Franklin
Be civil to all...Now there's a concept. But what is "being civil"? Many people seem to use the phrase "common courtesy" interchangeably with "being civil". In reality, I believe that these are two very different ideas. Common Courtesy. This consists of a set of rules or guidelines on what to do in just basic respect between human beings. Acknowledging when someone walks into the room, Holding a door open for someone right behind you, keeping your voices down and talking to a minimum during a movie. These are all filed under "common courtesy". But being civil? I think that's another topic.
Maybe it's the slow perversion of our language over the sands of time, or perhaps it's just the rising amount of hatred running through our collective veins. Whatever the reason, "being civil" is hardly a good thing to be. According to the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary, "civil often suggests little more than the avoidance of overt rudeness." Upon reading this, I'm sure many of you are starting to see where I'm going with this. "overt rudeness"...which means to not be openly rude. So, more then likely there are bad feelings toward the person in which one is "being civil" to. If there is a problem with them, should you not have the common courtesy...no should they not have a right to know what the problem is? It could just be a misunderstanding, or a drop in the lines of communication. Instead, society has created this "being civil" to allow people a way to avoid confrontation like this.
People may not want the confrontation for various reasons. Perhaps, it's the friend of your significant other. Maybe it's your boss. For whatever reason, living a lie is easier then confrontation. That's what "being civil" really is, lying. While some people may be civil to someone powerful, in hopes of being thrown a bone, Others may just stand civil as to not create turmoil among a group of friends. While the latter motive may seem perfectly reasonable to most, if a problem is covered up, its still a problem. Therefore, it would be a smart idea to confront the issue head on and resolve it. Or at least come to an understanding. I'm sorry Ben, but in this day, your civil is anything but "civil".
S.T.
~Benjamin Franklin
Be civil to all...Now there's a concept. But what is "being civil"? Many people seem to use the phrase "common courtesy" interchangeably with "being civil". In reality, I believe that these are two very different ideas. Common Courtesy. This consists of a set of rules or guidelines on what to do in just basic respect between human beings. Acknowledging when someone walks into the room, Holding a door open for someone right behind you, keeping your voices down and talking to a minimum during a movie. These are all filed under "common courtesy". But being civil? I think that's another topic.
Maybe it's the slow perversion of our language over the sands of time, or perhaps it's just the rising amount of hatred running through our collective veins. Whatever the reason, "being civil" is hardly a good thing to be. According to the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary, "civil often suggests little more than the avoidance of overt rudeness." Upon reading this, I'm sure many of you are starting to see where I'm going with this. "overt rudeness"...which means to not be openly rude. So, more then likely there are bad feelings toward the person in which one is "being civil" to. If there is a problem with them, should you not have the common courtesy...no should they not have a right to know what the problem is? It could just be a misunderstanding, or a drop in the lines of communication. Instead, society has created this "being civil" to allow people a way to avoid confrontation like this.
People may not want the confrontation for various reasons. Perhaps, it's the friend of your significant other. Maybe it's your boss. For whatever reason, living a lie is easier then confrontation. That's what "being civil" really is, lying. While some people may be civil to someone powerful, in hopes of being thrown a bone, Others may just stand civil as to not create turmoil among a group of friends. While the latter motive may seem perfectly reasonable to most, if a problem is covered up, its still a problem. Therefore, it would be a smart idea to confront the issue head on and resolve it. Or at least come to an understanding. I'm sorry Ben, but in this day, your civil is anything but "civil".
S.T.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Lets Call This Dance the Truth Twist
Oh man, Today's already an interesting day.
In fact, so interesting that today deserves two quotes. Be excited.
American Poet, Essayist, and Philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote, "What you do speaks so loud I cannot hear what you're saying." At first glance, this quote didn't make sense to me. Then I looked closer, and it made all the sense in the world. Growing up, everyone used to say "actions speak louder than words." This is what R.W.E. was trying to say. Not just that the actions were speaking louder, but that they were SO contradictory to the words, that those words could not be heard at all.
Guys experience this all the time. They'll be with a girl and she'll be particularly quiet or what not so the question always comes up of "Whats wrong?" A simple question usually responded to with a simple answer, "I don't know." or "Oh, nothing." Nothing. Right. Based on your current actions, anything BUT nothing is the right answer. An age old tango of words ensues as the answering party dodges and weaves while the questioning party attempts to make some sort of sense out of this situation. In the end, "Nothing" usually means "everything" and "I don't know?" well...That means they know exactly what it is, but for some reason they don't wish to say. This leads me to a rather obscure source, George Jackson.
"Patience has it's virtue. Take it too far, and it's cowardice."
Patience. Have Patience. Love is Patient. This...Patience...it has its place. Any relationship, friendship requires patience. But at a point for a normal person, patience runs dry because of lie after lie. That person will get tired and decide it's time to move on with life. No matter what the sorrow of a friend removed, or the longing for a lover lost, These people cut their losses and move on. Look at Frank though, Frank has a problem, hes being strung along. "Oh she'll come around," he says. "It's only a matter of time," he reiterates. Guess what Frank, she won't. There is not a thing you can do about it. Some people may see this as patience for something worth waiting for. At this point, its cowardice. It is only you Frank, you being afraid to move on. Afraid you won't find another girl like her. I'm here to bring you light, you will. There are plenty out there that you will meet. Just remember...
There Is Always Another Day
S.T.
In fact, so interesting that today deserves two quotes. Be excited.
American Poet, Essayist, and Philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote, "What you do speaks so loud I cannot hear what you're saying." At first glance, this quote didn't make sense to me. Then I looked closer, and it made all the sense in the world. Growing up, everyone used to say "actions speak louder than words." This is what R.W.E. was trying to say. Not just that the actions were speaking louder, but that they were SO contradictory to the words, that those words could not be heard at all.
Guys experience this all the time. They'll be with a girl and she'll be particularly quiet or what not so the question always comes up of "Whats wrong?" A simple question usually responded to with a simple answer, "I don't know." or "Oh, nothing." Nothing. Right. Based on your current actions, anything BUT nothing is the right answer. An age old tango of words ensues as the answering party dodges and weaves while the questioning party attempts to make some sort of sense out of this situation. In the end, "Nothing" usually means "everything" and "I don't know?" well...That means they know exactly what it is, but for some reason they don't wish to say. This leads me to a rather obscure source, George Jackson.
"Patience has it's virtue. Take it too far, and it's cowardice."
Patience. Have Patience. Love is Patient. This...Patience...it has its place. Any relationship, friendship requires patience. But at a point for a normal person, patience runs dry because of lie after lie. That person will get tired and decide it's time to move on with life. No matter what the sorrow of a friend removed, or the longing for a lover lost, These people cut their losses and move on. Look at Frank though, Frank has a problem, hes being strung along. "Oh she'll come around," he says. "It's only a matter of time," he reiterates. Guess what Frank, she won't. There is not a thing you can do about it. Some people may see this as patience for something worth waiting for. At this point, its cowardice. It is only you Frank, you being afraid to move on. Afraid you won't find another girl like her. I'm here to bring you light, you will. There are plenty out there that you will meet. Just remember...
There Is Always Another Day
S.T.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Welcome One And All To The Show
Well, This is it, my new space. It's kinda cozy isn't it?
Anyways, I probably should answer some questions first.
Who Am I?
I'm just a kid. Noone special tho. male, early 20's, college, girls, work. You know, the usual suspects.
What Is This?
This...This is my life. Not in the normal "look at me, look at me!" sense. I hope it will be more in the "Here's where I went wrong" sense. Or maybe the always classic "Did you even think about this?" sense. Either way, I hope its an interesting read.
Okay, now onto the fun part.
Sir Francis Bacon once said, "If a man will begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts; but if he will be content to begin with doubts he shall end in certainties." Now, let me explain what I take from that. A few weekends ago, I had the ever pleasant experience of going out with a girl. I guess at this point you should know two things. One, I love quotes. Two, I also love sarcasm. Take that last statement for example. Yes, I had a very nice time, and thought she did too. But upon later words, I found out she did not. "It felt forced" she said. "I had a lot of fun, but it was just weird at times."
"I had a lot of fun, but it was just weird at times." Oh great, weird? WEIRD? Come on, what could she possibly mean by "weird"? Then it occurred to me...The way we were going, I came into the date expecting nothing short of a relationship. This gentlemen, is where I should make my point. never, EVER, go into a date expecting an outcome. If you do, you will surely shoot yourself in the foot. Que the Quote please! I started with certainties and now I'm sitting here listening to sappy music (Believe by Staind, don't get me wrong, great song, love the guitar work, but sappy) and wondering what will become of this situation. So I guess you could say, I started with certainty of the outcome, and now I'm typing and doubting everything about the situation. When, I guess according to Francis Bacon, if i would have just walked in with doubts, or an open mind, then i would have walked out with certainity, either "girlfriend" or "this wont work".
Touche Sir Bacon, Touche.
S.T.
Anyways, I probably should answer some questions first.
Who Am I?
I'm just a kid. Noone special tho. male, early 20's, college, girls, work. You know, the usual suspects.
What Is This?
This...This is my life. Not in the normal "look at me, look at me!" sense. I hope it will be more in the "Here's where I went wrong" sense. Or maybe the always classic "Did you even think about this?" sense. Either way, I hope its an interesting read.
Okay, now onto the fun part.
Sir Francis Bacon once said, "If a man will begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts; but if he will be content to begin with doubts he shall end in certainties." Now, let me explain what I take from that. A few weekends ago, I had the ever pleasant experience of going out with a girl. I guess at this point you should know two things. One, I love quotes. Two, I also love sarcasm. Take that last statement for example. Yes, I had a very nice time, and thought she did too. But upon later words, I found out she did not. "It felt forced" she said. "I had a lot of fun, but it was just weird at times."
"I had a lot of fun, but it was just weird at times." Oh great, weird? WEIRD? Come on, what could she possibly mean by "weird"? Then it occurred to me...The way we were going, I came into the date expecting nothing short of a relationship. This gentlemen, is where I should make my point. never, EVER, go into a date expecting an outcome. If you do, you will surely shoot yourself in the foot. Que the Quote please! I started with certainties and now I'm sitting here listening to sappy music (Believe by Staind, don't get me wrong, great song, love the guitar work, but sappy) and wondering what will become of this situation. So I guess you could say, I started with certainty of the outcome, and now I'm typing and doubting everything about the situation. When, I guess according to Francis Bacon, if i would have just walked in with doubts, or an open mind, then i would have walked out with certainity, either "girlfriend" or "this wont work".
Touche Sir Bacon, Touche.
S.T.
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